I wasn't very nice today
I was thoughtful today, but it took some work.
I was snippy with my mom, and gave unsolicited advice to a friend when I wish I'd given support.
I slept badly last night, and I was cranky. That makes it really hard to be my best self.
And I wasn't my best self, at times.
But I took a breath and said "Hey, sorry I'm irritable and being bitchy." She was understanding and didn't hold it against me, or take it personally. Such compassion.
In the other case, I realized my wrong & apologized. It took a few hours.
I felt like I did something wrong, but it wasn't 'til I got home, smoked some weed, and settled in that I understood how I messed up. I needed some time and mental space to process. I'm not sure if the drugs help.
I'm sure she'll understand and forgive me. She's kind and compassionate and holy shit so tolerant. I used to be so much more difficult.
In the end, I was thoughtful, I was compassionate, and I owned up to my wrongdoing.
My mom was compassionate and so understanding.
I'm sure my friend will be too. She's pretty coo.
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This is about the way I talk about myself. It took me a lot of work to resist mentally badmouthing myself and encourage these more compassionate thoughts.
It feels wrong. Like if I'm nice to myself about it, then I'm not getting what I deserve.
What do I deserve?
Compassion, understanding, love, and forgiveness.
And they deserve compassion, understanding, love, and for me to apologize and try to do better next time.
I want to encourage compassionate and loving thoughts toward myself and others.