on being "too young"
I was 11 when my parents separated. In the years after, I lived in abject poverty. One house, we didn't have running water for months. Same house, one space heater to share, no central heating. Another house, no fridge so we kept lunch meat in the basement. In another house, no power.
And my parents just weren't around, beyond getting me to and from school ... most of the time.
Some years/months were better, some were worse.
My nephew is 12 and I suggested he be grateful that his parents provide him with food and shelter and clothes. He argued because these things are the "bare minimum" that parents should do. He's right.
I thought about telling him about my childhood, but thought "no, he's too young." I was younger than him when the hardship started for me, but he's "too young" to hear about it?
Also, I don't know if I want him to know how much his grandparents let me and my brother down as teens. I'm concerned about sharing that family story with him because I don't want him to judge my parents for it.
And I suppose you don't have to know hardship to be grateful for fortune. A little later on, I reiterated my main point (to be grateful) without actually arguing against what he was saying, and he seemed more receptive than when I was arguing.
Either way, I think we (grown ups) too easily forget how capable children are, and how much they can (we did) handle. And if we don't communicate openly and honestly, then they have all this difficult stuff to figure out on their own, and with their peers who also lack our life experience.
If it comes up, I think I would share with him. I doubt I'll intentionally bring it up though. It could be an opportunity to discuss the hardships of life, having compassion for others, understanding people's shortcomings, how we move on and forgive those who failed or hurt us.
I don't understand his childhood, honestly. He has rules, boundaries, discipline, and two parents who are present and care for and love him. I genuinely don't know what that's like. The pseudo-freedom and independence was pretty cool in a way. Home life was good until I was about 11 or 12. Not so after that.
My parents are great now. Supportive and loving and present. They're far from perfect, but they have grown much from the hardships of their 30s. I'm in my 30s now...