Quote: taking a backseat sometimes
Lou Plummer wrote in Non-Toxic Masculinity:
We white guys were still expected to work hard within our organizations, but we were also expected to take a back seat at times and not assume that leadership or primacy in meetings and activities was our birthright.
Well said.
Later:
I remember being at a gathering where a woman from another city was being outspoken and disagreeable, fighting against the goals of the people I'd traveled to the meeting with. On a break I mentioned to one of the other men in my group that she was really being a bitch. He stopped me and asked me what word I would use to describe a man doing the same thing. I was taken aback and didn't have an answer.
Learning hurts sometimes, but good for you.
Lastly:
Today [a formerly gruff and standoffish friend] has zero problems hugging anyone and doesn't mind saying "I love you" when appropriate. I'm so glad for him and for me.
:)