The internet is different now
I was born in the early 1990s. I got my first computer when I was, maybe, 6-8 years old.
I wasn't online much until my teens. I enjoyed yahoo pool, AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) among other chats.
I killed time on 4chan, Stumbled Upon (i.e. StumbleUpon.com) many random websites (incredibox; some mood-based music player;idr what else), and had an early MySpace account.
MySpace was configurable - custom CSS & even HTML if I remember correctly. We'd list our Top Friends (this was an AWFUL feature that never should have existed) and stressed about where we'd be on our friends' lists. (I would anyway)
Digg.com was a love of mine. Things felt different.
I've had a Facebook since sophomore year high school, and I'm in my early 30s now. It changed from a little place to share stuff with my friends. Now it's an algorithm feed-generating website.
Somehow getting on connects me to the whole world. It feels so important. (Youtube feels important too.) And so serious.
I started this blog recently (with bearblog.dev), and have been rabbit holing into the internet. Somehow I got to https://searchmysite.net/, which has a Random Button to go to a site on the indie web.
Later, I searched for StumbleUpon alternatives (bc SU didn't seem to work? idunner) and found Viralwalk, which let's you see (presumably) random websites to go to. I don't care for some of the design choices; it feels clunky. I love it's utility & really liked the 'Flow' feature to see a selection of several random sites & can pick which one to go to.
I've read some people's blogs, found Books as Therapy, a really nice vi reference (vi is a text editor with lots of keyboard shortcuts to move your cursor. You typically don't use a mouse.), a website builder for the indie web, a silly complaint generator, URL Roulette and so much more.
And it gives me that feeling again. That sense of freedom. I'm just blogging any little thing I want to.
I'm looking at lots of different websites, having opinions about them, and keeping them to myself. Mostly, I'm just admiring and observing, not much admonishment (admonish seems like a bit of a harsh word here, but man it sounds cool).
I don't feel like everybody's eyes are on me. I'm looking at these random websites with a distance, hands off, not engaged. I'm observing & consuming. I don't feel like I'm being observed. I'm not engaging (with someone else. I might be engaging with features on the website.)
I don't know who anybody is. Nobody knows who I am. I don't care who they are or what kind of person they are or what influence they have. I'm just looking at their art (their website).
I don't fear their opinion or judgement.
This rabbit hole of indie web and whatever is just really interesting to me. It's a remarkably different feeling than I've had for years about the internet.
I've been absorbed in Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube (my current problem).
This indieweb business feels like we each live in our own little worlds. I read some guys blog, and go "hm, that's a cool post". He has a lot of blogs.
I think "Who is this for?" and ... it's his circle. People who are specifically interested in him (and want to read a lot).
He's not trying to change anybody's mind, or to achieve some political agenda (okay, that's happening sometimes). It's just a dude sharing his thoughts and opinions, or educating, sharing art, or something else. Just putting himself out there.
So that's what I'm kind of doing, I think?
I wonder if anybody will EVER read this. Will they stumble upon it? Will I achieve something historical and my blog will be perused by historians? Will political opponents try to use it against me if I run for city council or state congress? Will my loved ones look through it in my death? Will they read it in my life?
(Sidestory: I happened upon Keith Burnett's website, which had that vi reference, has printable math reference sheets, and tons of other interesting stuff. I look him up and he's some important dude. Had prominent positions in the real world in UK & is a legit physicist (if Wikipedia is correct). I mention this because I wrote "if I run for city council" and that's the moment it should click for you that I'm a real person in the real world, and that I'm not just some figment on the internet.)
I have no idea. And no way to surely know. I guess I have the analytics, but it's literally just counting unique visitors each day.
On Youtube videos, I get impressions & views & I can test different thumbnails. I need a clickable title because I want people to watch.
Here, I want a descriptive title. Partially for me, in case I want to return to a post later. I still want it to be a good title, but the motivation is different.
On Facebook, I'd like to get reactions from my friends, comments from my friends. On my public Facebook, I'd like acquaintances, and sometimes just the public, to engage with me.
Facebook has morphed into this sicko place for me where it's a combination of my private and public life. Rather than viewing it as a platform I use for public endeavors, I have viewed it as fundamental to my quality as a person.
Am I checking messages? Am I responding to comments? Am I posting about things that I "should" be posting about? (I mostly don't post about current events or share memes or news stories. It's not my jam. I do share political action I'm involved in or promoting.)
I feel this way about text messages, particularly from my close friends. I feel this way about phone calls.
If I don't answer the phone when my family calls, I feel guilty, like I've done something wrong. If I don't reply to a text for 2 or 3 days, I feel pretty bad about it.
And then if I don't ... do the "correct" social stuff on Facebook, I feel guilty about it.
And it's a space where everyone can comment and react. And where there is endless possibility for me to comment. To share my thoughts on a local news story. To argue with someone saying something hateful ... someone who might be a bot.
I actually haven't been on Facebook much publicly over the last 8 months.
So. Um. This indieweb stuff doesn't bring me all those intense feelings that social media does. I want to think about that more deeply some time.
What is social media doing to elicit those feelings? And what is the indieweb doing that elicits this sense of freedom and smallness? (I'm unsatisfied with that "freedom and smallness" description. I don't know what the feeling is.)
I don't know. That's for another day.
Search: I forgot to mention it
I found a collection of search engines (and maps, video editors, music makers, and so much more) and tried a few out, Wiby stood out to me as having unique results that felt indie.
Wiby is not a "good" search engine, but look at Wiby's 'cat' Results compared to Google's 'cat' Results.
Google is trying to serve as many people as possible & is trying to serve mostly real-life needs. I get a lot of mainstream and high quality sites.
Wiby is different & focused on non-commercial sources, and appears to prioritize indexing individual web pages that are submitted. It's strange, but it's cool.
I might have had more to say. But I just got out of another rabit hole. I'm done.