What's the point of enlightment?
What's the point of waking up from sleep? It's so you can live. You might live for your kids, your job, survival, or a general interest in enjoying life. Either way, you wake up so you can live. Sleep is not living, dreaming is not living, not really.
Yet I struggle with the question of "why should I seek enlightenment?" even though I have such a simple answer for why I want to wake up in the morning.
Also, coffee. Coffee is a good reason to wake up.
I'm an atheist, so I don't really believe in any afterlife. I don't believe enlightenment is a path to life eternal. I think it has a more practical purpose in terms of quality of life and how you experience the world.
So what is enlightenment? (perhaps I should read and learn from spiritual practitioners rather than spewing my own thoughts, but HERE WE ARE. its MY blog after all)
I think a lower form of enlightenment is one most of us can connect with. When you are angry, your view of the world changes, your view of loved ones and strangers alike changes. If you're taken with anger, everything is in a starkly different light. You see malicious acts where mere humanity exists. You wish to yell and cuss and hurt.
An important part of maturing is separating the self from this anger - Not ignoring the anger or eliminating it, but recognizing it as a temporary state of being that is not the self.
So when I'm angry, and my brain is asking for spite, or demonizing somebody I love, I try to recognize that I'm angry, see the anger, and take a step back from it. The anger is still there, and I (the wiser smarter more thoughtful self) needs to do something with it. The anger is real, and it matters, but the lense it gives me is harmful. It still deserves action, though.
If I'm angry a driver cut me off, I do not need to tail gate and road rage. I need deep breaths and to relax. If a friend wrongs me, I do not need to scream at them, but I do need to communicate how they hurt me.
This ability to separate from the anger and see the anger in this way is, to me, a lower form of enlightenment that most of us (hopefully) learn as we grow up.
The pseudo-enlightenment here requires knowing that I am not the anger, but that the anger is there. The second step is then experiencing that separation. The knowing is not the enlightenment. Being the one who hears the angry thoughts is the enlightenment. (as opposed to being the angry thoughts)
So then what is true enlightenment?
I believe it is the experience of not being the senses and the thoughts that is enlightenment.
I am not that which I see. When I am joyful, I am not the joy. When I am sad, I am not the sadness. When I hear thoughts, I am not those thoughts.
For me, (and I think for most people) the default way-of-being is to essentially be these experiences. I am attached to my thoughts, I am attached to my pain and my joy and my love and my grief.
I don't want to eliminate any of these experiences, but I am interested in pulling back my sense of self to be only that which experiences.
For now, there's a part of me that understands, that knows that everything I see is a conjuration of my mind. If I see a bird and hear it chirp, I am only experiencing the representation that my mind re-creates. I believe there is a real phenomenon in the bird flying and chirping, but I can only experience the film that my mind creates, not the phenomenon itself.
I can understand this, and I believe this, but experiencing life through that lense (of non-being and illusion) is another thing entirely.
This is where I would especially benefit by learning from spiritual practitioners. But for now, I move on this path self-directed.
I think I can move toward this experience of enlightenment, first-and-foremost, by meditating regularly. I don't know what meditation practice will be most beneficial. But if I meditate regularly, I can work toward experiencing enlightenment, and I can learn.
And what even is the point of this? Why seek enlightenment?
Well, I seek the pseudo-enlightenment of not-being-anger so that I can better relate with my loved ones, resolve conflicts, and move through this complicated world in a healthier way, causing less harm to others and to myself. The point is not to eliminate anger, but to manage its power.
I think enlightenment yields something similar. Ultimately, I think it is to reduce suffering, to increase a sense of peace, and perhaps to improve my connection with myself and the world.
I don't want to always be in a state of non-being. Just like I don't want to always be awake. Black sleep can be nice, when I'm tired. Dreaming is fantastic and fabulous and I love that I get to dream. But I would not want black sleep all the time. I would not want to only dream.
Just as I wish to wake up from dreams, I wish to wake up from life and experience enlightenment. But I also want to live. I do not always want to be in a state of non-being.
These are just my thoughts. I'm not well-read on any of this stuff. I've read some philosophical texts before, but I'm no Buddhism expert or anything like that. I'd say my strength in all this is mainly that I reflect on these things regularly, sometimes discuss this spirituality with my friends, and umm... Idunno.
None of this is prescriptive. It's mainly just me communicating what I think right now, today. I might think something different about enlightenment tomorrow or 6 months or 5 years from now.
May you have a wonderful day.