boredom-induced panic
I don't handle boredom well. I disengage from my video game or programming project or TV show or friend or whatever else, and I'm just immediately overcome with intense antsy-ness. This strong feeling that I need to DO SOMETHING (while simultaneously not wanting to do anything).
And I had a revelation today.
I've long had the idea that I need to learn to sit through the boredom, just suffer through it and get to the other side - where the boredom is present but patient.
So I was pacing after a gaming session, bored, antsy, and I got to thinking about anger.
When I'm PISSED, I wanna fucking hit stuff. Yaknow? But I don't. You don't hit things when you're angry, not generally. But soooome-times you can channel rage into a healthy physical outlet. Think screaming into your pillow, or I'll throw a towel at the wall, or some might go to the batting cages, others might go for a run.
You don't necessarily sit through the anger, suffer through it, and wait to come out the other side. At least sometimes, that shit needs to be channeled in a healthy way.
Well, so does antsy-ness, I think ... though this is something I've literally never considered before, despite how obvious it seems now.
If I take that antsy-ness and I run to my video games, then it's shoved down. I finish my gaming session, and then I'm still antsy afterward. It makes me comfortable, but it isn't a real outlet for it. It doesn't relieve that energy.
So then I handwashed my mom's nice christmas glasses, and I put up a beautiful canvas print of a bear and butterfly my best friend had made for me (she drew it digitally!). And yaknow, I wasn't antsy after. I felt good. Had another gaming session at that point. Done with that, and I feel pretty good.