fear of nazis
yeah, elon's nazi salute. I need to process this, and you don't have to process it with me. Go have a good day.
...
Okay. So. I'm afraid of this administration - rich powerful white man, as our president, surrounded by rich powerful white men who own the economy and the media. One of them did a nazi salute.
I'm a little bit in denial. I don't believe that somebody would do a fucking nazi salute on purpose. Not some rich powerful man like that on a national stage. That's fucking crazy. But let's suspend disbelief for a minute, and assume he meant it.
What am I afraid of?
The steady decline of civil life. The removal of non-white non-men from public space. economy falling apart. civil war. queer existence suppressed.
I was feeling this way after he got elected, but it's only tonight that it's hitting me in this way again. Where everything looks so dark, and everything feels so futile.
But civil live will continue. People will be hurt. straight white men, and everybody else too. I'm more scared for everybody else, but most of us are poor. we're the ones who die in war. We're the ones who die in famine. We're the ones who die from climate.
We've had wars before. Devestating, brutal, terrible wars. Nazis already happened, youknow? Can it really get that bad again? Gas chambers and shit? I doubt it. Should I hold out some hope ... hope that "life goes on"? Should I find joy in the wonders of the modern age? Even if we have (another) civil war, the country will continue.
These fucking platitudes don't help. This big picture bullshit doesn't help. Idunno.
I'm feeling a cloud over me, and I can't quite explain it. I can't fix it. Its just there.
It'll lift in a day or two. My life will go on as normal. Twice-weekly gym visits, once-weekly library visits, video games daily, friends here & there.
If a true fascist government really does rise, when will "the people" take it seriously? When will I take it seriously? When is it time to raise arms in defense of freedom? Will my local police go along with fascist orders? Will they round up immigrants? Will they arrest teachers for correctly-gendering trans students? Will friends and family and co-workers rat each other out, out of self-preservation? How bad can it get? When will enough of us stand up and resist? And what the fuck even does resistance look like?
Will the military defend the president, or the constitution? Will the national guards fall inline with the federal orders? Will our military turn on the people they're meant to defend?
Perhaps I should find faith in the American spirit. That of freedom, and of pride in our nation. Regular people aren't leaving their jobs to riot because trans people are being banned from sports. But maybe they should (ok maybe peaceful mass protests, not riots, but still). What if white boys weren't allowed to play sports, at all, any more?
When is it enough for us to step outside of our comfy-cozy lives and say FUCK NO. When is it enough that we step out of the machine, and bring the whole fucking system to a halt? Is it ever enough?
I tried a new video game today & yesterday. Kill A Million Rats. There's a free demo. I'm not sure if I'm gonna buy it yet. It's pretty fun, thoughhhh i'm poor and not sure I wanna afford the cash. Imma play the demo a bit more before I decide. Its good. You should check it out.
Oh! The first run is a bit boring (but also not very overwhelming). On the second run, there's more leveling up and upgrading and stuff you can do.
I had hot tea and an apple while I played some Rocket League just a few minutes ago. That was nice and fun.
I have two kitties, and the girl usually won't cuddle, but tonight she got in the chair with me for a good 20 minutes probably! :D :D It was nice.