fear the gay
i think they're afraid that gay acts will doom their sons and daughters to an eternity in hell.
The fear of sin is serious. I know, I was raised with it. I harmed myself as punishment for masturbating as a teen (I had promised God I would give it up for Lent). I was raised Catholic, but have grown atheist/agnostic.
It didn't work. The fear of sin. It just damaged me.
And of course, those who fear the gay, specifically those who work to take our rights away, to shame us, to keep us in the closet ... don't have the fear-of-god in them with regard to their own heinous acts - the judgement of others, the cruelty, the greed, the selfishness, the anger.
Someone told me once that the "phobia" in "homophobia" means "fear" as if to say maybe there was a better way to classify the hatred they point our way.
But I think it really is fear, and maybe we should treat it as such.
I've heard commentators talk about the downfall of society, the concern about birth rates, the threat of drag queens to children, and the threat of Hell.
They're afraid. Afraid that my choice to kiss a man will corrupt the world, that their children will fall "victim" to the culture and become sinners too, that gays are more likely to assault children than straights.
If you're up for it and you have a hateful uncle or friend, ask them what they're afraid of. "Why does it scare you so much?"
And listen.
I've been lucky, and I don't really have any hate in my life. My family loves and supports me. But I'd like to consider that fear may really be at the heart of it, and approach bigots with compassion.
But also, know when to step the fuck away. We each have different limits, and you don't have to take abuse. But if you're not the target of their abuse, please have the courage to fight for us. The fight is found in connection, in listening, and in long-term growth.
Oh. And the threat to us is real. It is material. Especially for trans people who need medical support for transition.
P.S. I'm using "the gay" as an umbrella term, including thems, gays, lesbians, pans, aces, and all the other funky forms we come in.
P.P.S. Also see Sodom and Gomorrah