Found some old stuff in my journal tn
I've kept journals for many years. I have a lot of the old ones still. My current journal began October 3rd, 2023 ... cuz I haven't journaled much the last 2.5 years. That's okay, though. It's there for me when I want it, as i have more recently.
Well tonight, I was journaling - relatively mundane stuff - and a bunch of stuff fell out of the back of it. When I get some piece of memorabilia I want to hold onto, I just stuff it in the back of my journal. It's not a folder LOL so its a bad spot. But it's my journal so it's a good spot.
And it was just so nice. To pick up my things, and read a February (February is spelled stupid) 2024 entry talking about brain fog, no brain mud, no spikey brain mud is what I decided to call it lol. It wasn't describing a good day, but it was good to look back on.
Sidenote: I was reading The Black Tongue Thief, which I FEEL was excellent, but I do not remember it.
I said sidenote, but that's kind of the point. Seeing that glimpse was nice.
I read an old (2024) letter from my therapist. We had to end counseling because Lifestance Health bought out a bunch of clinics nationwide and they chose to kick medicaid patients at my clinic. It was a while before I got a therapist again (because I require help with that kind of stuff & my care coordinator was utterly useless). But anyway, she wrote some really nice things to me, called me genuine and talented and something else nice. It was a pleasure to read again.
A friend drew a couple big dicks and wrote "Reed loves Ogre cock". I think we were talking about Shrek that day. I never liked Shrek. Idunno why.
I had scoresheets from playing Rummy and Farkel with a different friend. A mundane but nice note from my mom. A mundane note from my sister. Just little shit.
I had this thought "analog is nice" and it made me wanna blog about it. The journal & the physical medium have a qualia that digital doesn't have (for me). And it is much more limited, which makes perusing old memories much more desireable than a vast collection of hundreds or thousands of photos.
I don't keep all notes. I don't journal every event. But I do date everything I keep now. I'm 33 now & my memory just doesn't hold everything well. I like having the dates. And I like the happy accident of stumbling upon old notes and things, stumbling upon old memories.