Learning about animal agriculture is really depressing
I recently watched Cow by Andrea Arnold - a documentary film about life on a dairy farm for a cow named Luma.
The first and most depressing part is just watching what it's like for the cows. They seem like really sweet creatures. The most horrific parts are hard to watch, but the saddest thing is really just the general nature of their lives - living in captivity, in tight quarters, with no semblance of freedom, all to serve human desires, not needs.
Then, many aspects of a cow's life are heartbreaking to watch.
There's a young cow in a cage, physically pressed into a corner. Somebody grabs his head as he writhes and tries to break free. After a few attempts, the hold is secure, and a device is brought to his head, just above the eyes, and his scalp is burned black in a circle a little larger than a quarter. He squirms and cries, and then this is repeated on the other side. I'm guessing this is to prevent the growth of horns.
In another scene one of these young cows are similarly held tight, while squirming and trying to get free, and a hole punch - very similar to the hole punch you use for paper - is brought up to their ears, and one ear is pierced through and a yellow tag is attached. The other ear is punched, too, and later a small piece of metal will be added there - I have no idea what for.
This torture pales in comparison to birth.
The film starts with Luma giving birth. For a few minutes, Luma licks her baby and they're in each-others' company. But it's not long before they are separated. The baby feeds from a fake teet rather than from her mother. When they are separated, Luma cries, and cries.
Probably a month or two later, Luma is led into a large pen, and a bull is let in with her. They're sweet with eachother, licking and kind of cuddling up to each other. They have sex. I don't know if it was loving or pleasurable or what they felt, but I do know it wasn't their choice, freely made.
A month later, we see a man shoving a strange instrument into Luma's vagina to see how the baby is coming along - all is well. I don't consider it a cruelty to provide medical care to animals, but this seems like an unacceptable violation - they're not checking on an animal that got pregnant; they're checking on an animal that they forced into pregnancy.
Soon after, this new baby is born, and once again the baby is ripped away far too soon.
Luma cries far more than she did the first time. After they're separated, she's walked to the milking machine - here she's caged into a space that is hardly any larger than herself. She can't move or go anywhere. Mechanical suckers are attached to her nipples so she can be extracted from. All the while, she cries and cries. Workers are over-heard saying this is her sixth baby, and "she's getting protective in her old age", as if it's not normal to suffer and grieve the loss of your children.
The worst part was yet to come.
A man comes into the barn and beckons Luma to follow him. In the morning light, they're walking between the buildings, with a coworker of his - a young woman - and Luma slips on the muddy ground, but catches herself. A metal clunk is heard.
She's led into a fairly small pen, with some space to move around. The man leaves and comes back with a bucket of food, shows it to her and sets it down.
She sniffs and licks and eats a little from it. Another man comes into the pen. He puts a pistol to her head and pulls the trigger. He leaves.
She falls to the ground, she twitches for a short eternity, before falling still.
This is the life of a cow. Small cages, forced births, separation from her children, automated milking, and then death.
Words cannot do it justice. Words do not begin to capture the suffering you see by watching the film.
And nobody cares. This isn't like most ethical issues of our day, where there's a huge population of people who are opposed to it, who want to end it, who vote for politicians to fix the problem, who try to make at least some ethical consumer choices to fix it.
And advocating for animal rights is so insufferable. The primary perpetrators are everyday people like you and me who buy milk and cheese and eggs and meat. And now I'm fully aware of the utter evil required to bring these things to me. But can I tell you that what you're doing is evil? Would you even care? Are you willing to change? Are you willing to sacrifice? What would this do to my relationships? What if you deny the evil, accept it, justify it, or defend it? Can I live with that? Can I accept you when you do that? Would you accept me if I defended and justified human slavery; or if I advocated for and supported the torture of pets, of cats and dogs; or if I joined ICE?
(Yes, I do still love and accept my friends and family.)
It's no surprise that meat, cheese, dairy, eggs, and other animal products are delicious. It's no surprise that the animals are not treated well - I feel like this is a common understanding.
But what is a surprise is when I look inside myself and see a willingness to disconnect from the cruelty, to justify my participation in it, to continue seeking pleasure that depends on the mass suffering of animals.
It's been less than two months since I re-dedicated myself to being vegan. And I'm still finding excuses, like next time I go to the Chinese buffet, I'll get the noodles cooked in butter. One last hoorah. One last hoorah built on the immeasurable suffering of creatures who deserve better. One last hoorah that helps perpetuate that suffering. Or the buttery popcorn I got recently at the movie theater. Or the candy I buy that has sugar in it that was probably processed with bone char.
I'm angry a lot now. I'm angry that animals are being made to suffer. I'm angry that people won't stop eating their meat and drinking their milk. I'm angry that people won't even look, aren't even willing to know about the evil they're contributing to. I'm angry that it's so hard to know what products required animal suffering. I'm angry that it feels impossible to fix. I'm angry that the biggest roadblock is convincing compassionate progressive people to care. I'm angry that people who do look are so willing to turn a blind eye. I'm angry that I shrugged off the animal suffering for decades now.
I'm angry that it's presented as a sort-of necessary evil to feed the masses. Because it is completely unnecessary. We can get all of our proteins and nutrients from plants - many (not all) nutrients are better gotten from plants than animals. The continued subjugation and torture of animals does not give us the nutrients necessary to survive - it gives us pleasure from flavors and textures we enjoy, flavors and textures we've been conditioned to enjoy.
Going full vegan is also not easy. It requires a lot of cooking for yourself - almost every prepared food has animal cruelty in its development somewhere. Most restaurants do not cater to vegans, having no good alternatives to cheese or egg or even things like croutons or sauces which often have some dairy in them. And you have to learn about what goes into your food & read ingredients lists and ask questions at restaurants.
And cooking vegan requires some adjustments - you need to learn how to prepare different foods like beans and tofu and other protein-rich foods. You have to learn how to cook without cheese or acquire a taste for the fake cheeses (I like fake cheese but it IS an aquired taste).
For a long time, I thought the angry vegans were insufferable and kind of shitty, because it's not nice to yell at people and be mean to people for their own lifestyle choices. Like, bro, just eat your vegan shit and shut the fuck up. But I'm becoming one of those angry vegans, and it's hard to argue against.
Maybe more of us should be angry about more things, and be less tolerant of the evils in the world. Maybe we shouldn't buy clothes and toys made by enslaved childrens' hands. Maybe more of us should boycott companies like Chick-Fil-A that contribute money to anti-LGBTQ causes. Maybe more of us should boycott YouTube and Amazon and Spotify over their contributions to the war machine.
Maybe more of us should be unwilling to tolerate and participate in the evils of our society.
I'm coming to think the root of all evil is not money nor power, but complacency and compartmentalization.