Obsessing about what i could have said
I played a game of 3v3 Rocket League. I'm a VERY low diamond, basically a plat pretending to be diamond lol.
And I've recently been a very patient, very conservative, safe & supportive player. I don't double-commit. I go for the ball, then rotate out so my teammates can go. I wait in the backfield while my mates go for an offensive play. I defend when the ball goes our way, or I rotate in as they rotate out.
This is my general playstyle lately. It's pretty common for players to be much more aggressive, to ball chase, to double-commit, to focus on offense and getting impressive touches.
I support those players by playing how I do. Those players shine when they have someone like me to get good clears, and follow up their bad challenges, and stuff. Players like me shine when those players are present to actually get the goals.
This has been working pretty well for me recently, reaching peak rank a few times.
(Note: Being a team game, this doesn't always work. Players have different playstyles, so sometimes we're just not in sync and shit doesn't work. We were actually up in goals when my teammate started being an asshole. Like we were having successful plays and then they were mean to me. But we also weren't all that in sync. Their playstyle, while fairly aggressive, just didn't seem to sync up with mine.)
Well somebody was a DICK. They were like "Why are you just driving around?" (I wasn't). Or "Hit the ball" (I did, plenty). and other comments of the like. "[something something] like you have no concern" (I'm not concerned. Losses are okay. I'm trying though)
At the end, we had some back and forth, where I told them to be a good sport. I said I'm kind and have friends. They said "you're playing solo". blah blah.
They were dicks.
And then I obsess. About the things I didn't say, the things I could have said, the shreds of truth in some of what they said (yes, I did whiff sometimes, and wasn't a perfect player), and in my head I'm defending myself against basically every single one of their remarks.
It's exhausting.
I want to just be like "They were dicks" and move on. I don't want to obsess. I don't want to figure out how I could have handled it better. I don't want to analyze their remarks.
So I guess this is something I'm going to try to work on. When my brain is obsessing about these social situations, and how I could have performed them a little better, or whatever ... I just wanna not. Not think about it. Let it go. Breathe. Focus on what I'm doing. Let the shitty thing be shitty, and know that there will be more shitty things, and no amount of practice, no amount of obsession will save me from that.
They were dicks. Somebody else will be a dick again. Most people are actually quite nice in Rocket League though, at least in my experience. More niceness than meanness, I'd say.
But yeah. No matter how much I prep, somebody is going to be mean to me again. I can't stop it. And i can't fix the people who are being mean.
And in realizing that, I need to practice ... not obsessing about it.
Wish me luck!