Orgasms
Orgasms are great, genuinely one of the best feelings that I think we get to have.
Generally, this is achieved through masturbation or sex, and sometimes some of us might get them in our sleep.
I believe I've woken up post-orgasm once or twice in my life, but I've had many many dreams where I get extremely close. I've had several where I orgasm in the dream but not in real life, and in a way these in-dream orgasms are better than the real-life ones. At least in-the-moment, they are. The satisfaction is short lived, though, and the pleasure soon forgotten.
I've also come extremely close to orgasm several times in my life while awake, while hands-free. Let's not count the water-jet in the pool as a kid, even though that's technically hands-free. (and boy would I like a water jet lol those were so good but also that's super gross)
But I mean just through sheer will. I can't deny the possibility that my closeness came, in part, because of some friction or pressure from the blanket on top of me or underwear I was wearing.
I'm not sure the first time I came close just through will alone, but I do remember one instance, where I was sitting in the dark with my eyes closed. I wasn't dozed, but I wasn't fully there, either. And my little guy does what he sometimes does, spontaneously growing.
And of course that comes with a heightened awareness & a great deal of sensitivity. And boy, I tried to get there without touching it, but I was like 99% of the way there and then the pressure just faded, and the opportunity was lost.
In most of these almost moments, I switch to the usual method (though in this one case, I just gave up). But it's always so disappointing when I do. I go from that peak sensitivity and excitement into a frustrated need to orgasm, and the sensitivity fades, and then I have to go faster & maybe stir up some spicy thoughts.
And I guess it's not sheer will - there's also the flexing of the member itself, which is definitely part of the equation here.
My self-pleasure has pretty much always been very porn and fantasy heavy (depending on the day). But there are rare occasions, where I'm just present in my body. There's nothing, really, in my head. These are some of the best experiences, because I feel everything, much more thoroughly, and I'm not in a rush, I'm just enjoying the moment.
I'd like more of those moments - where it's just purely me with myself - no porn or fantasies with hotties. When I'm really in-tune with myself, there's the internal flexing too. It ceases to be just an activity of rubbing, and becomes something deeper - like I can feel the pressure inside my anus, even though I've put nothing inside my anus. (though sometimes I do and if you're a man, I suggest trying it, with plenty lube. It takes practice.)
It's odd to me that fantasy plays such a large role in something that seems to be a physical phenomena. But so too can you influence your body temperature through your thoughts - stir up some angry thoughts and you might notice yourself getting warmer. And sad thoughts can conjure up tears.
And perhaps if I want to get to the sheer-will-orgasm (I really want to get there), practicing the present-with-myself-orgasm is a good first step.
I also think meditation is part of it. Getting more in-tune with my mind & my body. Learning how to be less in-my-head and more in-the-moment. And, though this is generally not talked about in discussions of meditation, I believe it's a path to greater control over processes that are typically automatic or unintentional.
I don't see any reason why I can't have a sheer-will orgasm. It hasn't happened yet, but it's fun to try so why not go for it?