These feelings lie to me
(Note I wrote to myself before bed 3 nights ago)
These feelings lie to me
Blog post about the obsessive feeling making the object of my obsession seem both extremely important and urgent.
I talked myself through this. I know what projects are actually meaningful and important to me, yet they are not the object of my obsession. The obsession lies to me. The obsession makes me forget to care about my self, my health, my life. It makes me feel that if I do not satisfy it's request that "something bad will happen' (a thought i had trying to describe it now). The obsession wants me to make this a blog post NOW, for fear of losing this meaningful insight. The obsession does not trust me. The obsession does not want to risk letting go. The obsession is afraid of being lost to time.
So I take this note, in an effort to protect the object of my obsession, while also protecting myself from the obsession.
I want to write this blog post. But I do not want to do it now. The obsession wants me to do it now and fears I will not follow through later. I might not, but I need to trust myself to navigate that later. Right now I need to read and prepare for bed.