tired of being misgendered
I've been "gender fluid" for about a decade now. In the last 4 or 5 years, I started saying "nonbinary" as this felt simpler. In the last 2 or 3 years, I started using "they/them" for my pronouns. It was about time.
(I believe I've been gender fluid my whole life, but I didn't have the language or self-realization until a decade ago)
I've been "out" to my closest friends for a good while now. And in my public life, I've used they/them for almost as long (email signatures, how I ask to be addressed in meetings or in journal articles), and I've come out to some of my old public acquaintances and friends.
I spoke the "Mx." prefix for the first time a month or two ago, while speaking at a local town council meeting. Previously, I accepted "Mr." or just tried to avoid using a prefix.
I've told a couple family members.
I've been misgendered in meeting minutes in a non-profit org I was part of. I've been misgendered by one of my family members (its still very new to them, but like bro at least try). I've had to correct friends countless times. I still get called "he" when I'm wearing a dress in public. I almost always carry a purse.
I don't say any of this to dog on people. My friends have known me for 10, 15, 20 years. My family for 30. They/them pronouns aren't super commonplace in our society yet. I want to be forgiving, and understanding. Also my friends are quite good about it these days.
But man I am sick of it. I was playing Trackmania tonight, trying to set a good Author Time on a new 08-style (bumpy downhill) map I'm building. And just so many misgenderings ran through my mind, and I was getting angry.
For so long I've wanted to not be a bother. I've wanted to be easy-going and understanding and not make it difficult for people. But I don't misgender people constantly. I don't call women "he" or men "she". I'm tempted to. But I don't want to be spiteful.
Damn am I sick of advocating for myself though. If you're a cis boy or girl, people probably just gender you correctly 99% of the time and man I am exhausted of existing as a nonbinary person who has this constant extra burden of either LET IT GO or CORRECT THEM. Letting it go is a burden too.